Measures of a Man Students Learn How to Respect Women
“What are the two things about respect I talked about last week that I told you always to remember?” asks Justin Williams, program manager with Growing Kings. Last week, middle school students in our Measures of a Man program at Booker T. Washington K-8 learned how to respect women.
The 7th grade boys skirmish around and a few slowly start to raise their hands. “Respect is earned, not given,” responds one student. “Never hit a woman,” answers another.
“That’s right,” Justin confirms as he begins to introduce the week’s special guest. “This week we’re going to discuss respecting women. Everyone, meet Chrissy. She’s going to help us with this week’s lesson.” The typically rambunctious and outspoken group of 7th grade boys immediately become quiet, sheepish, and, most importantly, extremely attentive.
Learning to talk to women in a way that makes them feel valued and respected is something Growing Kings focuses on heavily. As domestic violence continues to become a common headline in the news, we strive to do our part in teaching young men how to view and treat their female counterparts as queens.
Williams engages in role playing throughout the remainder of the session. One after another, he invites each young man to introduce themselves to Chrissy. As each boy gets their turn, Williams notes mistakes and points out how to stand straight, look her in the eyes, and speak with confidence. He teaches the young men to avoid disrespecting women through their tone, their words, and even with their eyes. “Never, ever walk around a young lady and check her out, up and down, with your eyes. You’re disrespecting her with your eyes, and that’s not how real men treat women,” Williams advises.
As they move through the session, Williams teaches students how to appropriately ask for her contact information, to read a situation when a girl may not want to continue a conversation, and how and when to ask a girl on a date.
“Now, let’s say Chrissy says yes to a date,” Williams starts as every young boy in the room raises their hands to cover their mouths in attempts to hide their huge, nervous grins. “It’s time to go on a date and you’re picking her up from her house, and now you meet her father for the first time. Let’s pretend I’m her dad. How do you approach me?” One by one, Williams cuts off each young man and tells them to sit back down for committing offenses such as not making eye contact, not standing straight, not giving firm handshakes, and not speaking clearly. He then gives students an example of how to approach the situation. “First, introduce yourself and as you do so stand straight, look him in the eyes, and shake his hand. Then, tell him how you know his daughter so he feels more comfortable with you taking her out, and always respect his rules for his daughter. If she has a curfew, you respect it and promise to return her home safely before then.” All eyes are fixed on Williams as he walks through the introduction while a student pretends to be Chrissy’s father.
Throughout the session, Williams touches base on the usual basic rules of etiquette such as holding doors, pulling out her chair, and letting her order first at a restaurant, he then sneaks in a few additional tips. “When you’re dating a lady, you should always make her feel safe. So, when you’re walking in a parking lot always have her on your inside away from oncoming traffic. This will ensure that if a car drives past, she won’t possibly get hit or if there’s a puddle of water it won’t splash on her.”
As the session comes to an end, Williams advises the young men that though some of the little things they discussed may seem small and silly, it’s the little things that, as they grow older, will make the biggest differences in their relationships with women.
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